Patience in the face of insults and praise

بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

وَلَمَن صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

Ash-Shura (The Consultation) - 42:43 

But withal, if one is patient in adversity and forgives - this, behold, is indeed something to set one’s heart upon!

Patience in the face of insults (and even praise)

The Prophet ﷺ lived like any ordinary person, devoid of privileges usually associated with leaders. He ﷺ once borrowed some money from a Jew called Zayd bin Sana’a, who narrates the story himself.
"Prophet Muhammadﷺ  was attending the funeral of a man from the Ansar.  Some other companions were with him.  After the funeral prayer he sat down close to a wall, and I came towards him, grabbed him by the edges of his cloak, looked at him in a harsh way and said, ‘O Muhammad! Will you not pay me back my loan? I have not known the family of Abdul-Mutallib to delay in repaying debts!’ although it was still a few days before the deadline were to lapse.
 
'Umarؓ, not being able to tolerate this angrily berated me!  ‘O enemy of God, do you talk to the Messenger of God and behave towards him in this manner?!  By the One who sent him with the truth, had it not been for the fear of not entering the Heavenly Gardens, I would have beheaded you with my sword!’

The Prophetﷺ, however, kept smiling and said to 'Umarؓ : 'This man is entitled to better treatment from you. You ought to have advised me to repay the loan promptly and advised him to be more courteous in demanding repayment.' Then, turning to me the Prophetﷺ said, smiling: “There are still three days to go before the promise has to be fulfilled.'  He ﷺ then requested 'Umarؓ   to get some dates so that the loan could be repaid, and to give me an extra twenty measures for the rebuke and for scaring me.
'Umarؓ  went with me, repaid me the debt, upon receiving the extra dates, I asked him why and he replied, ‘The Messenger of Godﷺ ordered me to give it to you because I might have scared you.’ I realised then that 'Umarؓ had no idea who I was and so I said, 'I am Zaid ibn Sanah, the Rabbi'.  'Umarؓ was rather surprised and asked me why I behaved in such a way. I explained that I had seen many signs of prophethood in Muhammadﷺ but had yet to see two, and my objective was to test the final two signs.  The signs were that patience would take precedence over anger, and that harsh treatment was repaid with kindness.  Having seen those signs, I accepted himﷺ as a true prophet, and thus accepted Islam." This story although oft quoted, cannot be verified from the chain of narrations.

The story of Lalla Ded and the cloth merchant

Lalla Ded is a Kashmiri mystic, whom Muslims and Hindus alike stake claim on, like another mystic Kabir. She herself did not follow any formal religion, but has had a profound influence on Kashmiri Sufism. She was of advancing years and would often walk around unclad, claiming that she did not need to cover herself in front of children (meaning everyone around). Legend has it that the only time she covered herself (jumping into a blazing tandoor), was when Mir Sayyid Ali Hamdani came to Kashmir, and the reason she gave was that it was the first time a "man" had come in the neighbourhood.
The story that I want to share is about someone who regarded her highly and wanted to follow her around to learn from her.  They had hardly gone a short distance during her routine promenade when some kids started yelling at her, shouting curses, and throwing stones at her. The new disciple was enraged, and Lalla Ded had to hold him back. 
She then took him to a cloth merchant and asked for a measure of cloth. In those days cloth was sold by weight, as it is still done in some parts of the world. She then told the disciple to put it around his neck, equal parts dangling to the right and to the left. And every time someone would insult her, she asked him to put a knot on the left side. 
After knotting a few times, they came across some people who revered her, and even prostrated to her, so she told the disciple that every time someone praises or reveres her, tie a knot on the right side. 
So saying they carried on with their journey.
The disciple was perhaps expecting a miracle of sorts, and imagining all sorts of things, when at the end of the day, the story does not even mention at which side were the knots more in number, the left or the right. Rather she took the cloth back to the merchant and asked him to weigh it again. Lo and Behold, the weight was the same as it was in the morning.
There in lay the lesson of the saint. No matter how much someone curses you or praises you,  it should not affect you in a way to change who you are. Your net worth should remain the same.

The time to change is NOW

بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ

The time to change is NOW

In Al-Dhahabi's  Siyar A'lam al-Nubala (The Lives of Noble Figures), Al-Fadl b. Mûsâ reports the story of a highwayman by the name of Al-Fuḍayl ibn ‘Iyāḍ. Leading a group of bandits, he robbed caravans and waylaid innocent travelers and was therefore notorious in those routes. One night he was en route to meet the girl that he loved, and passing through someones garden, he was about to jump over a wall when he heard someone reciting the Qur'an.  He heard the following part of Al-Hadid, 57:16:

أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ اللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ الْحَقِّ  

Al-Hadid (Iron) - Is it not time that the hearts of all who have attained to faith should feel humble at the remem­brance of God and of all the truth that has been bestowed [on them] from on high,

Hearing this, he was overcome with grief.  He exclaimed, “Indeed my Lord, it is time.” And ran away from that place. He walked and walked while sobbing incessantly and uttering prayers of repentance until he found himself in some ruins far from habitation and sought refuge there.  Upon seeing some travelers had camped there, he hid himself from them. He couldn't help overhearing their conversation. Someone said, “We should move on.” Others said, “Wait until morning, Al-Fudayl operates in this area, he will rob us.” In his condition, he was really devastated as he thought to himself, “I spend the night in sin and there are some Muslims here spend a restless night in fear of me."

Without delaying any further, he repented from his errant ways and tried to visit each of his known victims to repay them what he had stolen from them, and when he ran out of available goods, he visited them to beg their forgiveness.  He became a recluse in Makkah, and ended up becoming a very pious scholar, and is now well known as one of the great imams of Muslims. His transformation to piety was complete. As can be seen by the following story:

One night the Abbasid Caliph Harun al-Rashid summoned one of his favorite courtiers (Fazl Barmakid). “Take me to a man this night who might reveal myself to me,” he bade him. “My heart has grown weary of pomp and pride.” Fazl brought Harun to several scholars, but they did not meet Harun's expectations. Then Fazl realized what Harun was looking for, so he took him to Fudayl’s door.
“Who is it?” Fudayl asked.
“The Commander of the Faithful,” Fazl replied.
“What business has he with me, and what have I to do with him?” said Fudayl from behind the door.
Harun decided to enter anyways, upon which Fudayl extinguished the only lamp in the house, making it pitch dark.  Harun felt his way through till his outstretched hand, met with Fudayl's hands and Harun said "You cannot escape from me, at last I have found you"

Fudayl replied “How smooth and soft these hands are, if only they could escape from Hell-fire!”  Harun was overcome with grief upon hearing it.

“Advise me” he begged. Fudayl spoke.
“Your ancestor, the Prophet’s uncle, once asked of the Prophet, ‘Make me commander over some people.’ The Prophet replied, "Command shall be a cause of regret on the Day of Resurrection. It is better if you are able to take command over yourself, even for a moment."

“More,” pleaded Harun.

“When Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz was appointed caliph, he was terrified, and said "I have been afflicted with this trial,"
 
Fudayl continued “The lands of Islam are your home, and their inhabitants your family, visit your parents, honor your brethren, and be good to your children. I fear,” he added, “that your handsome face will be severely tried by the fire of Hell. Be conscious of Allah, and obey His command. And be watchful; for on the Day of Resurrection, He will question you concerning every single Muslim, and He will exact justice from you. Even if an old woman goes to bed hungry, she will grab your hem on that Day and will give evidence against you.”

"The throne that you are assigned used to be the seat of a Prophet like Sulayman, and he found God's pleasure while on it, and it also used to be the seat of the Firaun, and you know what happened to him. So the choice is yours."

Harun wept bitterly, so that he was about to swoon,

“Enough! You will slay the Commander of the Faithful,” chided Fazl the vizier.
“Be silent, Haman,” said Fudayl. “It is you and your ilk who are destroying him, and then you tell me that I have killed him?”
At these words Harun wept even more profusely.“He calls you Haman,” he said, turning to Fazl, “because he equates me with Firaun.” Then, addressing Fudayl, he asked,
“Have you any outstanding debts?”
“Yes, a debt of obedience to God. If He takes me to task over this, then woe to me!” said Fudayl.
“I am speaking of debts owed to men, Fudayl,” said Harun.

“Praise and gratitude be to God,” said Fudayl, “who has blessed me abundantly, so that I need nothing from any of His servants.”
Then Harun placed a purse of a thousand dinars before him.
“This is lawful wealth, of my mother’s inheritance,” he said.
“Commander of the Faithful,” said Fudayl, “the counsels I have given you, it seems, have yielded no results. Even now you continue with wrongdoing and injustice.”

“What wrongdoing?” said Harun.

“I call you to salvation, and you cast me into temptation. This is wrongdoing indeed,” said Fudayl. “I advised you to give back what you possess to its proper owner. You for your part give it to another to whom it should not be given. It is futile for me to talk further. If you really want to help me, then promise me that you will never darken my doorstep again, for I wish to spend the rest of my life seeking forgiveness for my sins, and not waste it talking to people like you.”

“Ah, what a man he is!” exclaimed Harun, leaving his house. “He is in truth a king of men and the world is very contemptible in his eyes.”

Fudayl was known for his sense of urgency. Once he was asked to give a sermon,  in which, addressing both the young and the old: "O group of young men! I have come across many crops that were defective even before they matured! O group of old men! And are crops harvested except after they become ripe? And what are you waiting for? And what excuse do you have to present? What will you say, when the All- Knowing will say:

  أَوَلَمْ نُعَمِّرْكُم مَّا يَتَذَكَّرُ فِيهِ مَن تَذَكَّرَ وَجَاءكُمُ النَّذِيرُ فَذُوقُوا فَمَا لِلظَّالِمِينَ مِن نَّصِيرٍ  

“Did We not grant you a life long enough so that whoever was willing to take thought could bethink himself? And [withal,] a war­ner had come unto you! Taste, then, [the fruit of your evil deeds]: for evildoers shall have none to succour them!” - Part of 35:37