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When “I” Was Left Outside

 بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ مَّا جَعَلَ ٱللَّهُ لِرَجُلٍۢ مِّن قَلْبَيْنِ فِى جَوْفِهِۦ Mā jaʿala Allāhu li-rajulin min qalbayni fī jawfih. “Allah does not place two hearts in any person’s chest.”  Sūrat al-Aḥzāb 33:4 There are stories small enough to remember. And large enough to spend a life inside. Rūmī tells one such story in the Mathnawī . A lover came to the door of the beloved. He knocked. From inside, the beloved asked: “Who is there?” The lover answered: “It is I.” The door did not open. Not because the beloved had not heard. Not because the lover had not travelled. Not because longing was absent. The door remained closed because the answer was still full of the self. “It is I.” That small sentence carried a whole kingdom. I have come. I have suffered. I have loved. I deserve entrance. I am waiting. I. Sometimes the most dangerous idols are grammatically small. The lover had reached the door, but not the state by which the door op...

The Cage

  بِسْمِ اللّهِ الرَّحْمـَنِ الرَّحِيمِ قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَن زَكَّاهَا وَقَدْ خَابَ مَن دَسَّاهَا Qad aflaḥa man zakkāhā; wa qad khāba man dassāhā. “Successful indeed is the one who purifies their soul, and doomed is the one who corrupts it.” Sūrat ash-Shams 91:9–10 ( Quran.com ) There are stories that entertain us. And there are stories that remove the veil from the face of our own condition. Rūmī tells one such story in the Mathnawī . A merchant had a parrot. A speaking parrot. A parrot whose voice brought pleasure into the house. But the parrot was inside a cage. This is how strange human life can become. A thing may be loved and imprisoned at the same time. A thing may be admired and deprived at the same time. A thing may be praised for its song while its wings are forgotten. The merchant did not necessarily think of himself as cruel. Perhaps he thought he was caring for the bird. Perhaps he thought the cage was protection. Perhaps he thought beauty belonged nearer to him than to ...